yesterday was the most terrifying and unhappy day for me since pumpkin was born. someting so terrible happened and i wish i could turn back time.
i thought the day started went. was supposed to meet hubby with pumpkin at expo to get e lovely pillow. train journey to expo was DAMN LONG but pumpkin behaved himself very well. he slept through the whole journey.
everyting was fine. hubby n i managed to get wad we wanted at the fair and pumpkin was so well-behaved that he onli cried once cause his pampie was wet. pumpkin even allowed us to have our dinner without interrupting.
shit started when we were loading our stuffs onto the car.
i was carrying pumpkin into the car, when i accidentally knocked pumpkin's head against the top of the car door. pumpkin DIN cry at all. i THOUGHT it was a gentle hit UNTIL i touched his head. FUCK MYSELF!!! there was a suppression on his head. i was seriously panicking like hell. throughout the journey home... i kept very quiet and kept rubbing the suppression, hoping it would be fine.
when we were abt to reach home, i couldnt stand it and broke down terribly and told hubby wad happened. he was FUCKING angry with me. but i dun blame him. cuz i was reali reali careless n i totally blame myself for wad happened.
we din noe wad to do at all. called home n was told to bring pumpkin down to KK A&E for a check. i was reali reali worried cuz pumpkin din even cried all along. even when the nurse was checking his heartbeat n pressure. he was slpin so soundly in my arms which made me feel reali warm n blessed.
throughout the examination, pumpkin was aslp. but when e doc used smting to hit pumpkin's joints, he wail out damn loud. it hurts my heart so much that pumpkin had to go through the checks. after the checks by 1 senior n junior docs, they conclude that the suppression was pumpkin's
fontanelle and not caused by the accident.
though everyting is alright now, but i'll have to monitor pumpkin for the next 72hours to make sure he doesnt show the following symptoms :
-difficulty to wake up from slp
-vomitting more than 3 times
-seizures
24 hours after the accident, none of the signs have surfaced and i pray very hard that everyting's gonna be fine. pumpkin is still as smiley as ever. he's still drinkin his milk as usual and playing with us happily. though im still feeling upset that i've caused the accident. but i know nothing can be done to turn back time. except to be extra careful the next time i board the car with pumpkin.
my lovely bryan :
mummy is really sorry to have hurt you last night. it was mummy's mistake and carelessness. i hope u understand mummy did not do it on purpose and forgive mummy. mummy promise that there wont be a second time and i'll be ultra careful the next time we board the car. baby, mummy is really sorry.
mummy